A Fellow Traveller

As I paper carrier, I receive varied responses. Some appreciate receiving their morning paper before seven a.m. and gift me with tips and cards. Others take it all for granted, reading the morning news without a thought as to how it arrived on their doorstep. Does it really matter who I am? Is it not the paper itself that is of value? I am just the carrier of the good and bad news of the day. If I did the job for the pay, it would not be worth the early morning rise. If I did the job for personal acclaim, it would not be worth being so insignificant. Yet the time to think and muse, the space to reflect and problem solve, the quiet to pray and plan recharges my inner battery. By the time I finish, I feel ready to head into a busy day; ready to deal with difficult children and solve problems. As I go through my daily routines, I continue to be just a carrier. What of value am I carrying to others? What am I delivering through my relationships? This Christmas, I'm pondering the &quo

It was the Sunday morning of the time change, when Daylight Savings disrupts our clocks and we gain an extra hour. I was enjoying the extra time for me, leisurely eating breakfast while my family slept. I was also enjoying time reading as I sipped my coffee. My family slept to the latest possible moment while I enjoyed the quiet. This was better than having to leave early for Worship team practice. I knew this was my Sunday off. With five minutes left before leaving, my husband was eating breakfast. He asked why I didn't leave earlier and I confidently told him I didn't have to this Sunday. He persisted in his questioning because he knew I had been out every night that week. It suddenly dawned on me that I HAD been at a Wednesday practice. How could I forget? Even if I left immediately, I would only arrive a few minutes ahead of my family. The practice would just be ending anyway. All I could think of was how I had let people down. I couldn't believe I could be so stup

Beautiful fall colours, as far as the eye can see, cover an expanse of land in the city. Could something this beautiful be hidden in Oakville? After my long drive, I felt like I had been engulfed by the sprawling city with its heavy traffic and multitude of buildings and cars. This was like a breath of fresh air. The surprise came as I stepped into my friend's dining room and peeked out of the double patio doors. The panoramic view was breathtaking in it's beauty. The wildness of the creek and ravine was an amazing contrast with the manicured golf course landscape stretching endlessly beyond. It was a priceless gift to enjoy, not only during those daylight hours but now days later in my memory. At any time, I can simply recall the awe and wonder of those moments. The fleeting sunshine of that next morning, reminds me that every day can be new and fresh with new joys in the simplest things. How many times do I focus on the difficulties and miss the beauties around? Maybe when I

This summer we spent no money on outdoor flowerbeds, yet had the nicest display of colour and design ever. Leftovers sent from my sister in law became the foundation, quickly stuck in before they died. A girlfriend's extra herbs and flowers were the next layer added, along with some FREE ones from the side of the street. Two ferns from the VBS rainforest display that were gifted to us became the crowning touch. All the money saved became the seed money for my Nicaraguan trip. The story of the sower and the seed that I prepared for Canadian VBS children in July was translated into Spanish in August. The song I wrote to clarify the parable's message here was what I taught in Spanish for the children in Rama. In fact, telling the story to children who lived in a rainforest where seeds grow so quickly made so much sense. As the children sat on a hard packed dirt floor and I tossed grains of rice over them, I felt like this was more like the setting where Jesus' story had fi

Gathering with retired teacher friends and colleagues felt good Friday night. Lots of stories and connections were made over tea. When I referred to being in Nicaragua just before school started, questions started flying. What were you doing there? Who did you go with? What were you teaching? When I talked about bringing Bibles for the church there, I realized they had no idea why we thought that was important. I told how we gathered the women together on two afternoons and shared two favorite verses. Our goal was to show them how to simply read, ask questions and find what was there to learn. I had worked with these women, some for ten years, yet this part of my faith life was still foreign to them. As I found myself summarizing the two verses, I told how the Nicaraguan women's eyes showed connection to the verses we shared. Women are the same worldwide and they needed to know of God's amazing love for them, even when their husbands and children didn't affirm them. They

We had our route picked out to NYC with the thruways and state highways marked. When a friend loaned us his GPS, we found ourselves following both. Although we had specific directions for the big city, it was the voice of the GPS that reassured and encouraged along the way. By the time we got home, we wondered what we would have done without it. If we had stayed on the thruways all the way home, we would have missed so much. By setting the GPS and following it through rolling hils, we travelled where we could never venture without it. Knowing that it had mapped out the best path gave us confidence to just keep following. At times we wondered how this could ever be the best way as we slowed down for small towns and twisting curves. But eventually we got back on familiar roads that led towards home. I think I need to live life with my GPS set heavenward. If I am living with a final purpose and destination in mind, then my choices and decisions will align with that big picture. Since I

My first morning back to school, I was carrying too many things. My coffee mug slipped out of my hand, cracking open and spilling coffee all over the sidewalk. My first thought of, "So much for my coffee!" was replaced with, "broken and spilled out". Where did that thought come from? Maybe this would be the way the school year would go. Now that I've completed the first day with children, I feel cracked and spilled out. Teaching a FULL class of Junior Kindergarten is exhausting enough. Teaching the Arts in the afternoon requires more giving of energy and enthusiasm to the children. Some of the behaviors seem to stem from insecurity and lack of self esteem. How will I be able to keep giving without becoming exhausted? I will need to fill my cup daily. As well as caring for my family in the evenings, I must choose to do something for ME, something that nourishes and recharges my batteries. I must make time for friends, connecting by email, phone or even going

On my last night in Nicaragua, I fell into bed and went to sleep almost immediately. I didn't realize that I wore no earplugs until I woke up. Thinking it was morning and wanting to see the sunrise, I threw on some clothes and stepped outside. That's when I realized the light shining through the curtains was man made. The sky was still dark. My watch said two and I realized it would be four in the morning at home. Sometimes I'm outside then, so this felt familiar. I wanted to see what things looked and sounded like here in the night. The sounds drew me into far corners of the yard and I kept looking up at the night sky. The clouds obstructed the stars, yet the moon was full and the planet light shone bright. The night noises reminded me of the frogs and crickets at home, yet with a different dialect. It was the same yet different. As I walked about, it felt comforting to be outside. My bed was calling and I should sleep. Maybe the next time I awoke, I could hear t

I so enjoyed going to market yesterday morning. The fresh crisp air was invigorating, and I could see the vendors setting up their produce for sale. My memory of vendors on the streets in Rama was fresh. I remembered walking along the streets, seeing families in three sided shelters, selling all sorts of things. Shopping outdoors felt more like it should be. Then I went into the grocery store to buy the rest of the food I needed. Things inside seemed so sterile and packaged. There was way too much choice and so much was processed. I saw so much of the prepared foods that are to make our lives in the kitchen easier. But what is the price we pay for convenience? After our lunches in Rama, there had been an overflowing compost bowl outside the kitchen door but little else. The chicken we had eaten had been running around the day before, the fruit probably picked or purchased from local vendors. But the streets are also littered with garbage, especially in the cities. I could see that

After enjoying a delicious meal from Bertilda's kitchen, we explored the amazing outdoors behind their homes. I only went back inside to get something from my back pack but noticed Matthea sitting in the heat at the table, looking tired. I found a paper in my pack and sat beside her at the table. Without a word being spoken, a conversation began that spanned at least five minutes. After fanning myself, I tried to fan her but she quickly stopped me, taking the paper and fanning me. Each attempt on my part was cut short as I was the guest and she wanted to serve me. As I made eye contact, she gradually allowed me to fan her. We smiled, sighed, giggled, moved our heads and I saw her start to relax. The richness of the moment made me not want to stop. As people started entering the room, we continued our conversation until finally it ended. That conversation remains with me today. Looking deep into someone's eyes says a lot about their value. Maybe I need to do more watching

My first morning back, I woke still exhausted from the week. How I wished that I could putter at home and do up the laundry. Instead, I had to be at school for teacher meetings. I found myself walking in circles, feeling overwhelmed at the day ahead. I found myself asking, " What should I do first?" A quick thought, "Open your Bible." was my answer. When my Bible fell open to Matthew 19, I read two words, "Follow me". I instantly connected to John and Tim's teaching of the weekend. It made me realize that I can only walk one step at a time. So I simply picked up one box marked SEPT START UP and headed out the door. I was hoping it had what I would need for the day. My head felt a blur as I reconnected with staff. As questions were asked, I wondered, "What words can I use?" As I needed papers, I found them in the box. As I encountered jobs, I started making lists. Then an extended family group walked into the school, wanting to change

Less than twenty four hours ago I was in Nicaraugua. I was soaking in the heat, humidity, language and culture. Now I'm getting ready to head back into school, back into the pressures and expectations of a new school year. I have been listening to life in Spanish and I'm already missing the musical qualities of it. Names now in English will sound so harsh in comparison. The world that was so real yesterday is now surreal as I begin to transition back. On the last part of the flight home, my seatmate tried to explain his business but it was like hearing another language. My only connection to his job was that I delivered the ads that he marketed in my morning paper. I'm sure he was just as puzzled when I explained my thinking about a variety of topics. The fact that I see my paper route as a way to being paid to exercise outdoors had him shaking his head. This pondering about different worlds makes me realize the different worlds between individuals all around me. Hus

Waking up at 3:30 a.m. and seeing the papers sitting in the driveway made me think about doing them immediately. The media's reporting of a best viewing time made me ready to change my morning routine. My bed could wait. The sparkling sky was clear of cloud cover, yet seemed quiet and undisturbed. Where were the meteors? Here I was, walking in a city filled with street lights, noticing the flickering T.V. lights and shining porch lights. It was no wonder I couldn't see anything. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, a light streaked across the sky. It wasn't when I was looking for it either. "Wow." As I looked for more, the sky was quiet. Yet again, another and another, always when my thoughts and sight were else where. The heavens declare the glory of God yet when do I really see it? Is it visible to me when I'm surrounded by the light pollution of technology? I want to enjoy the best of both worlds. Yet God's glory is even now intruding, calling

Every summer over 100 volunteers work together to create and provide an amazing VBS experience for the children in our community. Using a rainforest theme, those volunteering found themselves twisting paper tightly into vines, cutting hundreds of paper leaves, while others designed and created bright butterflies. Some constructed trees and others painted but all offered their talents and abilities to Sharon, the designer and creator in charge. Now I'm coming back from a week living right in a rainforest climate. No wonder things grow so lush and beautiful there. With all the rain, heat and humidity, plants grow quickly. Even the beetles and cockroaches are huge in comparison to us here in Canada. We could only pretend as we created that backdrop for VBS. God's creation is so much more vibrant and alive. I can only imagine the joy he had in designing such a rich backdrop for the lives of people; where food and resources could be available all around for immediate use. Am I

The Lord is my teacher, I shall lack nothing. He knows me by name and provides everything I need to learn. As I respond to his step by step instructions, I find my deep longings becoming satisfied. He leads me towards discovering new things for myself. There are even recess breaks where I can be restored and nourished. He guides me daily as I follow his lead through the curriculum. When I ask questions, he brings people, circumstances and his own writings to my attention. He never makes me feel stupid, just gently redirects and encourages me in a way that suits my personality. Even though I walk through overwhelming experiences and fearful times, I will keep focusing on my teacher. He is constantly with me. The time outs and words of correction, they comfort me because I know he loves me. He will never abandon or transfer me out but will stick with me through times of regression and stagnation. He prepares blessing in the "ah-ha" moments and I overflow with peace

Two one storey houses are side by side. Each are small in size and are occupied by one. There is a pet dog at each home and neither resident appears to own a vehicle. The large man is rarely seen outside but is obviously a collector whose collections are smothering him. He is consistent in yelling at his dog and appears ineffective in his coping skills. The lawn is rarely cut and the shingles on the roof are loose and crumbling. The silver haired woman is meticulous with her gardens and yard, often awake with the birds and outside to putter in her garden. Last summer I chatted with her as she stooped to pick weeds out between stones in the driveway. She was friendly and interesting to talk with. If I would have predicted change, my choice would have been based on the outward appearance. I would have wanted the man's house fixed up, with maybe even a change of owner and the woman's home left as it was. The woman's house now stands as a skeleton waiting for demolition. All w

It is only sprinkling when I start walking this morning. From experience I have learned that it difficult to carry a heavy umbrella while delivering papers. Today I keep them in the plastic wrapper, add a coat with a hood and head out the door. As the intensity of the rain increases, I soon have a decision to make. Quitting is not an option but I could go back for an umbrella or even get the car. Our streets are lined with small trees whose canopy's are growing to cover the sidewalks. Today those trees become as friends to me. In some cases, the concrete is still dry underneath the thick roof of leaves. If I feel like stopping, I could experience relief from the rains. It would have been nice to have had a friend under those trees to talk to, or better yet, a friend to walk beside me. The rains of life come with regularity and I am once again dismayed with that reality. The rain falls on the just and the unjust..." but why now?" I ask. How better to walk with friends th

Where do I begin? The lesson plan was written up, the Grade 2/3 Library class was chosen and the day and time were set. The rubric was posted for the lesson and all was set to go. Then the unexpected began. As the principal walked into the Library, I had my Grade One class. I had been thinking, "This will be a dry run for next period." Now I realized I had to deal with the behaviours as well as teach a lesson that I had planned for older children. She had my lesson plan in front of her so I knew I couldn't deviate and change things too much. I was exhausted at the end but felt things went as well as they could with that particular class. Then I began the same lesson with the Grade 2/3's, wondering if she would be slipping back in to observe as planned. When I pulled out the book to begin, the students quickly said, "You've read that book to us before!" I had totally forgotten! That information would not have been advantageous. As I kept going, I start

As I left the city of Welland and headed out to Wainfleet, the clear stretch of Webber Road was totally open. Many vehicles had turned off at the golf course but now there was not a car in sight. My mind was filled with thoughts about my upcoming busy day. I mentally went through my checklist, making sure I had all I needed for the trip up to Kitchener and Waterloo after church. It wasn't until I met a police car that I realized how my speed had crept above 100. After handing over my license and papers, my first thought was, "Do I ever need grace right now!" I knew I deserved the large fine and the demerit points because I was breaking the law. I could rationalize that it was early Sunday morning, I was late for band practise and no one was on the road, but the truth remained as I waited for the consequences. I could hardly contain my thanksgiving as I accepted the $40 fine for being 10 over. I did not deserve the reduced sentence, yet gladly accepted it. It could ha

I need an IEP , that Individual Education Plan crafted by teachers for next learning steps. I know that I may appear to have it all together, but that is not the truth. I need to admit to hurts and wounds on my heart that need healing. My mind needs truth for situations that I can't problem solve on my own. Where can I go for this IEP? Who can see into my life to even know what small step I need to take next? I'm beginning to find that path through Scripture. Only God sees into my heart and loves me so intensely that he's willing to journey with me to healing. Only his Holy Spirit can shine a flashlight on truth as I read so that words jump off the page. Only Jesus who lived and experienced human needs can empathize and understand my emotions. What a gift to me. Yet if I don't open the book and read something for myself, how will I begin to learn?

Garbage night comes weekly and is a time to discard the refuse, the broken and the lifeless things around the house. The birthday bouquet roses were wilted, the greenery crisp and dry, while the water was thick and green. It was definitely time to throw it away, yet something caught my eye. As I pulled out the carnations and put them aside, I suddenly saw that the snapdragons were still beautiful. I discovered a green sprig to put with them and now had a small bouquet. Adding fresh water and setting it on the counter, I smiled. What had been ready for the compost now had beauty to give. Once I stripped away the dead, the living flowers could bring joy and beauty to the room. What needs to be stripped away in me? What worries and fears are keeping me from blooming? I want to be ready to step away from what is comforting and familiar. Only then can I become all that I'm created to be. Right now, all I can see are the failures and dead things from the past. I need the Living Water th

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” So says Jesus... to me. I know that Jesus is the way to truth and new life because I have experienced his forgiveness. It's been a “come and go” friendship though, as I've tried to be independent. I have often felt like I could do things well enough on my own, even with Jesus in my life. These words were originally in a letter from Jesus to the early church. The Laodiceans were busy and affluent believers, feeling quite self-satisfied with themselves and their faith. I'm afraid that is most often a picture of me. All my money, security and possessions gives satisfaction, but it also causes me to think I have enough of Jesus. Could there be need for more? I'm finding doors that keep coming into my life, with choices and a need for change. It's almost like Jesus keeps whispering and calling to me through daily stresses, w

The 2010 Winter Olympics are now history. The medals achieved have been taken home.The children at school though, are still humming the Olympic song, "I Believe". The media coverage often included visual highlights with only portions of the song. What were the words of the entire song? I had to check it out with the children at school. Together we explored finding the author's message. It's about determination and perseverance to achieve your goals. It's about sometimes feeling alone and discouraged but not giving up on yourself. It's about believing in the power of you and I to achieve. That's the Olympic spirit of achievement. It's all about me and what I can do. What if things don't go as we plan? What if you wipe out on the way down a slope and break some bones? What if your mother suddenly dies before you even have time to compete? What if you do your best and it's not enough for a medal? What if believing in yourself is flooded by thi

Children who are not exposed to love and respect in the home, find it difficult to give out to others. What model do they have? How can you give something you have not received? If my bank account has not had "magic pennies of love" deposited into it, what do I have to give from? It is always easiest to give a smile back to someone who smiles at me. Likewise, if I wave at a neighbour every day and it is not returned, I soon give up trying. As a woman, so much is expected from me in terms of giving. If I am operating from an empty bank account, I will soon go into overdraft, feeling exhausted and depleted. As I receive the love of Jesus in me, deposits can begin to warm my heart. As those deposits build, I will have so much to give to others. Rather than my actions expressing love out of duty, I will find myself giving out of the overflow.

The words of a kids song keeps playing in my head, probably because I'm teaching it to the Primary children at school. Love is something if you give it away... You end up having more. It's just like a magic penny, Hold it tight and you won't have any. Lend it, spend it, and you'll have so many, They'll roll all over the floor. What does this kind of love look like? Seeing my daughter in Nicaragua, giving of herself so freely with the Spanish speaking children there, helps me see how love flows two ways. With minimal language skills, she is helping with a VBS program for two weeks. Already she is experiencing love flow back across cultural and language barriers. You can give even when you have nothing more than a penny's worth of abilities. You always have your time, your smile, your words, your friendship and your helping hands to hold tight to or else to give away. In the end, these gifts might mean more to someone than anything money could ever buy. Is there

A sparkling coat of snow this morning, blankets everything. Gone are the piles of hard ice left from a former snowfall. Instead, we are starting out the day with a clean, fresh slate. The world is beautiful right now. I tried to remember the slippery patches as I walked the side walks. The treacherous sections, those that had not been shovelled previously, made it all the more important to watch my step. Yesterday I had been complaining about the un-shovelled sections. Rather than complain about what I have no control over, today I decided to walk carefully and accept what was to be. Every day is a fresh, new one in the lives of my students. Their short time at school should be a safe and peaceful time, no matter what has happened previously at home. As little people, they have no control over family situations. My privilege is to view each child with fresh eyes, giving each a brand new start for the new day. I do need to tread carefully, and find the right supports to give them

I have a young teacher friend who is beginning her career in unusual circumstances. As I hear of some major challenges surrounding her, suddenly my own challenges of this school year seem small. Her classroom of nine children range from Kindergarten right through to Grade Eleven. Their parents are living at the Mission of Hope in Haiti and are overwhelmed with the relief efforts. Aftershocks produce instant panic and fear, as all have been tramatized from the earthquake. I have a picture of them in the palm of God's hand. Much like I would hold a small insect such as a ladybug in my hand, closing my fist to shield it and running to stable ground, I see God's protection over all their lives. It doesn't mean there is no fear. It doesn't mean that things are comfortable. Hope and security comes through believing the promises of God, even when everything around crumbles. I'm learning, through different circumstances, that these promises are indeed true. Show the wond

The first day back to school is always exciting for the kids and tiring for me. After two full weeks of holidaying, it's time to get back to work. We read books and sang about the new year, anticipating birthdays to come. We made new years hats and celebrated a new start. As the children were lining up to wash hands before snack, I heard myself telling them to get clean "new years hands". I wondered if there would be a way to get new hearts for them all as well. Oh to have fresh new hands and to get a fresh start. The mind can decide to change but it's the heart motivation that cements the "want to" and changes habits. Isn't that what making change is really all about? I can decide in my head to improve in some area of my life and work hard to change. It is the heart though, that guides and dictates in the nitty-gritty decisions of each moment. It may be quick and easy to get "new years hands" but I think I'll be needing God's he