Failed but not a Failure
I did it again. I let someone down. I totally and completely forgot to fulfill my promises. I could be walking around right now with a big L on my forehead, but I choose to not let my failure define who I am.
It was Sunday morning and I was quickly filling the crock pot with food before leaving for an early band practice. I was eating a quick bowl of cereal before leaving and mentally going through my checklist. Friends were coming for lunch and I wanted to be prepared. As I collected my things, I knew I had everything I needed, yet felt a sense of travelling light. Was there something I was forgetting? No, I had everything I needed.
At the practice, we were warming up, meeting and greeting each other. As we were about to get started, our leader noticed the guitar player missing. I was asked, "Did you pick him up this morning?" because I'm his ride. That's when the truth sunk in.
"Oh no, I completely forgot him! That poor guy's been waiting all this time."
All I could do was dispatch my daughter to go pick him up, but it would be a forty minute round trip. We tried calling but only got the answering machine. At that point there was nothing I could do. When he walked in twenty minutes later, after finding himself another ride, I then started feeling bad for my daughter. What would she be thinking when she arrived at an empty house? Once again, this was out of my control.
Where do you go next? In the past, the negative self-talk has heaped shame on my head as I tell myself how stupid I am. This time I found myself in a different place. Was it because of talking with my students about not being failures this past week? Did it have anything to do with realizing that we all fail but that doesn't make us failures?
No matter how far I have let someone down, I can begin right away to apologize and to decide how it will not happen again. I've been told to expect phone calls ten minutes before the next pick up time. I'm deciding to make a note to myself and put it right on the kitchen counter where I'll be sure to see it. (I don't always look at the calendar on Sunday mornings.) Until I can build trust once again, I will have to travel this path and make sure I am doing my part to keep my next promise.
I failed, but I am not a failure. I am not perfect, and I will make more mistakes in the future. The freedom comes in accepting that about myself and moving on, learning and growing in the process. If I continue on and make no strides to do better, then I will fail once again.
I can see how repeated failure can cause you to believe you ARE a failure. That's the mindset I see developing in my students. With better understanding, maybe I'll now be able to tell my story and model how to grow from failure.
It was Sunday morning and I was quickly filling the crock pot with food before leaving for an early band practice. I was eating a quick bowl of cereal before leaving and mentally going through my checklist. Friends were coming for lunch and I wanted to be prepared. As I collected my things, I knew I had everything I needed, yet felt a sense of travelling light. Was there something I was forgetting? No, I had everything I needed.
At the practice, we were warming up, meeting and greeting each other. As we were about to get started, our leader noticed the guitar player missing. I was asked, "Did you pick him up this morning?" because I'm his ride. That's when the truth sunk in.
"Oh no, I completely forgot him! That poor guy's been waiting all this time."
All I could do was dispatch my daughter to go pick him up, but it would be a forty minute round trip. We tried calling but only got the answering machine. At that point there was nothing I could do. When he walked in twenty minutes later, after finding himself another ride, I then started feeling bad for my daughter. What would she be thinking when she arrived at an empty house? Once again, this was out of my control.
Where do you go next? In the past, the negative self-talk has heaped shame on my head as I tell myself how stupid I am. This time I found myself in a different place. Was it because of talking with my students about not being failures this past week? Did it have anything to do with realizing that we all fail but that doesn't make us failures?
No matter how far I have let someone down, I can begin right away to apologize and to decide how it will not happen again. I've been told to expect phone calls ten minutes before the next pick up time. I'm deciding to make a note to myself and put it right on the kitchen counter where I'll be sure to see it. (I don't always look at the calendar on Sunday mornings.) Until I can build trust once again, I will have to travel this path and make sure I am doing my part to keep my next promise.
I failed, but I am not a failure. I am not perfect, and I will make more mistakes in the future. The freedom comes in accepting that about myself and moving on, learning and growing in the process. If I continue on and make no strides to do better, then I will fail once again.
I can see how repeated failure can cause you to believe you ARE a failure. That's the mindset I see developing in my students. With better understanding, maybe I'll now be able to tell my story and model how to grow from failure.
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