Good-bye Birdies
(Read the previous two posts for background to this one. Start with Mothering from Outside.)
Because I've been talking about the baby birds, my students keep asking for more of the story each day. I had shared the discovery of finding the birds joined together, but had downplayed the certainty of their deaths. Yesterday I decided to make it a teachable moment, not waiting for the inevitable questioning.
My daughters were the ones to remove the birds from the nest while I was at school. In the process of lifting them out, the nest was destroyed. Some kind of nesting material must have been wrapped around the bird's legs, causing their legs to fuse and "grow" together. They possibly died of starvation, although the stronger one probably tried to get free of the other.
Even though my girls had cared for the birds, I had a need to see them for myself. It was as if I needed closure. It wasn't enough to forget and move on, telling myself they were just birds. I needed to understand more deeply, to see for myself and say my own "good-bye". The girls had even sprinkled dandelions over and around them among the trees. By seeing the final resting place, and talking about the experience, I felt more at peace about it.
I knew the children would feel the sadness of my story, so I used the book "Goodbye, Vivi" as a read a loud. In the story, Granny moves in with a family, bringing her pet bird along. Both are old and soon become a well loved part of the family. When the children experience the death and burial of the bird, Granny keeps telling stories that keep the memory of Vivi alive. Later when Granny dies, it's the book they find of Vivi's stories that helps them realize how memories of Granny will never leave them.
Death is a part of the circle of life, and yet we hesitate to talk about it with children. By capitalizing on what I was experiencing, I could facilitate a purposeful discussion. Some children had connections to pets and relatives dying, so could share from experience. Others listened and received a taste of how to process future grieving.
Because I've been talking about the baby birds, my students keep asking for more of the story each day. I had shared the discovery of finding the birds joined together, but had downplayed the certainty of their deaths. Yesterday I decided to make it a teachable moment, not waiting for the inevitable questioning.
My daughters were the ones to remove the birds from the nest while I was at school. In the process of lifting them out, the nest was destroyed. Some kind of nesting material must have been wrapped around the bird's legs, causing their legs to fuse and "grow" together. They possibly died of starvation, although the stronger one probably tried to get free of the other.
Even though my girls had cared for the birds, I had a need to see them for myself. It was as if I needed closure. It wasn't enough to forget and move on, telling myself they were just birds. I needed to understand more deeply, to see for myself and say my own "good-bye". The girls had even sprinkled dandelions over and around them among the trees. By seeing the final resting place, and talking about the experience, I felt more at peace about it.
I knew the children would feel the sadness of my story, so I used the book "Goodbye, Vivi" as a read a loud. In the story, Granny moves in with a family, bringing her pet bird along. Both are old and soon become a well loved part of the family. When the children experience the death and burial of the bird, Granny keeps telling stories that keep the memory of Vivi alive. Later when Granny dies, it's the book they find of Vivi's stories that helps them realize how memories of Granny will never leave them.
Death is a part of the circle of life, and yet we hesitate to talk about it with children. By capitalizing on what I was experiencing, I could facilitate a purposeful discussion. Some children had connections to pets and relatives dying, so could share from experience. Others listened and received a taste of how to process future grieving.
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