Finding Comfort

Blessed are those who mourn

For they shall be comforted.

What does that comfort look like?  Yesterday, it came through hugs from fellow staff as I walked back into work.  It was the cards and even a small gift that said people were thinking of me.  I didn't realize how fragile my emotions were until I found tears flowing at the drop of a hat. But my tears were accepted and that was comforting.

Comfort came from being with others, hanging around and talking to people after the funeral. So many had  memories and stories to share. Reconnecting with friends from years past felt so good. Seeing the children walking around with school friends and cousins brought comfort to me, especially since those children are my point of contact.

The most surprising thing for me was how the worship music in the service filled me.  I had a picture book to read called Heaven is For Real, with pictures ready to project on the screen behind me. This was requested so all the children would know where mom was. I had written out my introduction, but how do you control emotions? Would I be able to sing (and probably cry) before getting up to read before hundreds of people?

I think what I experienced in the singing was the Source of comfort Himself. God inhabits the praise of his people and that's what we were doing, praising him even in our sorrow.  By focusing on his provision and love for each of us, I found fear leaving. There were no tears. My nervousness vanished and I felt confidence growing in me.  I realized that God was enabling me to simply be his mouthpiece.  He wanted to comfort those at the funeral with truth about heaven and I was simply the vehicle for that comfort to flow. 

By being willing to serve these past years, I have received so much more than I have given out. The paradox of giving away continues to be in how much flows back to the giver. Likewise, we need to continue to mourn so that we can be filled by the God of comfort and peace.