Benchmarks for Healing
My muscles are aching.....not just my foot and ankle, but my calf , thigh and butt......they're aching in the night, causing my husband to ask why I'm thrashing about. I'm realizing that without pain, there's no gain.
At first, my sign of healing was less pain. After surgery, the number of hours between pain killers became my benchmark for healing, until I no longer needed them to mask pain. As my cast got looser, I realized the swelling must be going down - a sign of healing. Each time I got a new cast, another sign of progress. But when the cast was finally removed, things suddenly changed. It was a sudden reversal in the graphing of pain.
As I work to move muscles that have atrophied from lack of use, pain becomes the benchmark for progress. I don't like pain, in fact I usually do everything to keep from hurting myself. Yet now I'm doing exercises and pushing myself to limits marked by pain. Now I'm seeing how long I can stay on my feet, comparing the minutes and hours to a week ago. I don't like this new graphing pattern.
Driving is now therapy, as I press the gas pedal at a steady rate without resorting to using cruise control. This is different than stretching for twenty reps and counting to five before releasing. If I didn't really want to go out for breakfast with my friends, would I have pushed beyond my previous limits?
Going to a college open house with my daughter pushes to the point that I'm antsy and fidgety. I find new limits as I sit, stand and walk on lab tours. A week previous I know I could not have managed, but I can't wait to get home to elevate and ice my ankle. How can I keep embracing this as progress?
My eye is on the goal of independence, of getting back to work in two weeks time, and building enough stamina to restart morning walks around the block. Pain seems to be a necessary part of healing that I need to start embracing. I know it causes me to see my weaknesses, my limitations and impossibilities in a more honest way. As I keep my eyes on my goals, this same pain causes me to pray for strength, to work to find things to be truly thankful for, and to not take simple things for granted. Waiting on the Lord is taking a whole new look as I wait for complete healing. Waiting is becoming a more active word.
Maybe there's lots of other areas where pain can be a benchmark for healing. Maybe I need to be more willing to push through pain in relationships instead of backing down to keep peace. Instead of running away, I need wisdom and courage to speak truth that could bring healing, even though pain.
At first, my sign of healing was less pain. After surgery, the number of hours between pain killers became my benchmark for healing, until I no longer needed them to mask pain. As my cast got looser, I realized the swelling must be going down - a sign of healing. Each time I got a new cast, another sign of progress. But when the cast was finally removed, things suddenly changed. It was a sudden reversal in the graphing of pain.
As I work to move muscles that have atrophied from lack of use, pain becomes the benchmark for progress. I don't like pain, in fact I usually do everything to keep from hurting myself. Yet now I'm doing exercises and pushing myself to limits marked by pain. Now I'm seeing how long I can stay on my feet, comparing the minutes and hours to a week ago. I don't like this new graphing pattern.
Driving is now therapy, as I press the gas pedal at a steady rate without resorting to using cruise control. This is different than stretching for twenty reps and counting to five before releasing. If I didn't really want to go out for breakfast with my friends, would I have pushed beyond my previous limits?
Going to a college open house with my daughter pushes to the point that I'm antsy and fidgety. I find new limits as I sit, stand and walk on lab tours. A week previous I know I could not have managed, but I can't wait to get home to elevate and ice my ankle. How can I keep embracing this as progress?
My eye is on the goal of independence, of getting back to work in two weeks time, and building enough stamina to restart morning walks around the block. Pain seems to be a necessary part of healing that I need to start embracing. I know it causes me to see my weaknesses, my limitations and impossibilities in a more honest way. As I keep my eyes on my goals, this same pain causes me to pray for strength, to work to find things to be truly thankful for, and to not take simple things for granted. Waiting on the Lord is taking a whole new look as I wait for complete healing. Waiting is becoming a more active word.
Maybe there's lots of other areas where pain can be a benchmark for healing. Maybe I need to be more willing to push through pain in relationships instead of backing down to keep peace. Instead of running away, I need wisdom and courage to speak truth that could bring healing, even though pain.
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